So there were no updates on the fruit fast because I decided after the first day was nearing a close that it was a bad idea for me. The key words are “for me.” To preface this… the fasting on fruit is freaking HARD! So I am very proud of all of you who did it. 

I had one of those epiphany moments Monday during Ali’s class that made me realize it was a bad idea for me and it all came about during eagle pose. Freaking EAGLE POSE! That pose is THE single pose that can tear me down emotionally and I have no idea why exactly. There are those poses for everyone though I do believe. Something I am holding onto emotionally gets brought out or challenged whenever I’m in eagle and it has to do with the arms. I don’t like feeling that tightly held together and when I release my eagle arms I feel extremely nauseus. Because of all of this whenever an instructor says we are going to go into eagle I get so angry and almost defeat myself before even entering the pose. So on Monday Ali put us into eagle pose and I almost started crying because I realized how unaware I was of how emotionally charged the day had been. I think I felt angry at myself for the fruit fast being hard… I was an anorexic, I should be able to fast easily. And so my anger came out because Ali put us into a pose that I hate and it was during that that I realized that the fast for me was not the best idea. My therapist says I like to flirt with disaster… that I should have never tried it to begin with, and sometimes I think that I do. But I think sometimes I realize how far I have come and want to learn exactly what my limits are. I want to see how normal I have become.

I’m curious as to what poses other people find this emotionally challenging. I can do eagle pose just fine, but it still brings up so much in me. I think I hold emotions in my tricepts and shoulders or something because I’ve noticed other exercises that work those muscles make me equally uncomfortable and emotional.

Anyway, more of an update post than anything. But I am curious! What poses do you find THAT hard emotionally? Even if physically it’s not.

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