So there were no updates on the fruit fast because I decided after the first day was nearing a close that it was a bad idea for me. The key words are “for me.” To preface this… the fasting on fruit is freaking HARD! So I am very proud of all of you who did it.
I had one of those epiphany moments Monday during Ali’s class that made me realize it was a bad idea for me and it all came about during eagle pose. Freaking EAGLE POSE! That pose is THE single pose that can tear me down emotionally and I have no idea why exactly. There are those poses for everyone though I do believe. Something I am holding onto emotionally gets brought out or challenged whenever I’m in eagle and it has to do with the arms. I don’t like feeling that tightly held together and when I release my eagle arms I feel extremely nauseus. Because of all of this whenever an instructor says we are going to go into eagle I get so angry and almost defeat myself before even entering the pose. So on Monday Ali put us into eagle pose and I almost started crying because I realized how unaware I was of how emotionally charged the day had been. I think I felt angry at myself for the fruit fast being hard… I was an anorexic, I should be able to fast easily. And so my anger came out because Ali put us into a pose that I hate and it was during that that I realized that the fast for me was not the best idea. My therapist says I like to flirt with disaster… that I should have never tried it to begin with, and sometimes I think that I do. But I think sometimes I realize how far I have come and want to learn exactly what my limits are. I want to see how normal I have become.
I’m curious as to what poses other people find this emotionally challenging. I can do eagle pose just fine, but it still brings up so much in me. I think I hold emotions in my tricepts and shoulders or something because I’ve noticed other exercises that work those muscles make me equally uncomfortable and emotional.
Anyway, more of an update post than anything. But I am curious! What poses do you find THAT hard emotionally? Even if physically it’s not.
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February 8, 2010 at 11:17 am
Jessica
Hi, Kristen.
I stumbled onto your blog when I Googled, “40 Day Personal Revolution Fruit Cleanse.” I am sort of blown away by our similar path:
I’m 25. I am in the middle of a yoga certification program, which I embarked on to help me rid my world of anorexia & bulimia. As part of our RYT-200 program, we’re doing the 40 Days to Personal Revolution, too. We start the cleanse tomorrow.
I am so proud and inspired by your decision to by-pass this part of the revolution. Hopefully, you found empowerment in that.
I look forward to hearing more about your journey. If you ever want to share more or connect experiences, please don’t hesitate to e-mail me, too. So, so much love and gratitude to you, from me.
February 14, 2010 at 9:03 am
Kristen
How do I contact you?
February 13, 2010 at 10:43 pm
Ravi
Hey there! I have actually just written a book called The Fruit Feast – a healthy way to cleanse the body in three days.
http://thefruitfeast.com/
Such a fruit feast is a great way to detox and cleanse.We’ll have it avail for online order shortly…you can signup to the mailing list and we’ll let you know when it is ready!
Thanks.
Ravi